When you hear the word assertive, do you envision someone who is loud, brash, aggressive, and overbearing? Do you equate assertiveness with selfishness and a lack of consideration for other people’s needs? ​If your understanding of assertiveness veers towards any of these images, you’re not alone.

In reality, however, none of that depicts what assertiveness truly is.
 
Assertive behaviour isn’t about being aggressive or overbearing.  Nor is it about being selfish and self-absorbed while trampling over other people and dismissing their needs. So what is assertive behaviour, and can it really have a positive impact on your relationships?
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“[S]he squeezed the mistrust away into a corner of her mind, and blocked it up there.”  From Charles Dickens' Our Mutual Friend
 
How many times have you been in a situation and sensed within yourself that something wasn't quite right? Your inner voice is there in the background, whispering to you gently but firmly. You get a noticeable gut feeling you can’t deny. Or perhaps you find your intuition speaking to you as if trying to convey a subtle warning. 

How many times have you dismissed that feeling and carried on anyways? And then afterwards, you find yourself saying, “I should have listened to that inner voice,” or "I should have followed my intuition," or "I should have gone with my gut."

You know the feeling. You have a decision to make and you're not sure what you should do. No matter how much you turn the situation over in your head, you can't figure out what's best. Your mind becomes muddled, confused, and overwhelmed; or you draw a complete blank. 

Here are five ways to untangle yourself from all the confusion, gain clarity, and activate forward motion when you're struggling to make a decision and the solution seems far off.

Helpful life hacks are everywhere — but are they really helpful?

The danger of the “hack mentality” is that it promises quick success without the investment of time and effort. But real success is rarely easy and rarely happens overnight.

So how do you make progress on the road to success, even when the way gets tough and you’re tempted to abandon your efforts? Instead of chasing shortcuts and hacks, stay grounded over the long term by internalizing these three foundational truths.

Do you consider yourself to be a bit of a misfit?  If you answered yes, there have likely been countless times when you felt isolated, alone, and disconnected from other people. You may have found yourself thinking life would be so much easier and simpler if you could just be like all the folks around you.  

Not fitting in with everyone else can be challenging at times, but there's another side to it.  Misfits possess all kinds of unique and valuable traits.
 
Here are five great qualities to be found among the misfits of our world.  As you review each quality, think about how it shows up in your own life and shapes who you are.

You're constantly making choices as you live your life each day.  You choose what to focus on and how to spend your time.  You choose who to spend time with and which relationships to invest in.  You choose your thoughts and responses to all the different situations and circumstances that come your way. 

Over time, the choices you engage in repeatedly become habits.  And those habits matter; they influence the trajectory of your life.


Habits Influence the Trajectory of Your Life
 
Your life reflects a collision of a multitude of factors.  Some of these factors can be anticipated and/or controlled; others are entirely beyond your control.